Funny Foreign Signs Friday Funnies #362

Before I get into the funny foreign signs, I’d love to share with you my latest funny videos from my Laughaholics Videos. The first one is about a very lazy husband, and strangely enough, it’s called Lazy Husband Joke.

The second funny video, and it’s my favourite of the two, is about a young woman that is boarding with a Scottish couple I called that video the Girl Lodger Joke.

And now for my funny foreign signs. These signs come from around the world and are funny because they’re obviously struggling with the English language.

Funny Foreign Signs That Make You Laugh

In a Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail Lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor’s Office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry Cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

A Nairobi Restaurant:
CUSTOMERS, WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE:  WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

Funny foreign signs

On a poster at Kenya com:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ?  IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS, IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A Laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Of course you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts.

if you would like to improve the quality of your photos you will love my Luminar 3 Review.  If you need to remove the background of an image see How to remove background from images.

The odyssey of Hans Jonathan, a slave who became the first black settler in Iceland

In the early 1800s a young man named Hans Jonathan stepped ashore in a remote Icelandic fishing village.

Born a slave, he had escaped a colonial empire, refusing to be seen as property.

He is said to be Iceland’s first black settler — though in the early accounts, the villagers described him as blue.

“Colour functions differently in the Icelandic language. It’s more Icelandic to say he is a blue man — a blár maður,” says Kari Stefansson, whose father was born in the village.

By all accounts, Hans was warmly welcomed into the community; the contemporary concept of race — and racism — didn’t yet exist.

“The concept of race is hardly present in the old Icelandic literature. It was not present in our language,” says Dr Stefansson, the founder of genetics laboratory Decode.

“It was a foreign concept and actually then when you introduce an individual of a very different race into a community, he’s accepted with open arms.

“The concept of race, as an influential phenomenon in our culture, is a very late addition.”

A fighter called Hans

Hans’s life was shaped by the forces of the slave trade, capitalism and the desires of the Danish colonial empire.

He was born in 1784 on La Reine sugar plantation on the island of St Croix, now the US Virgin Islands, then the Danish West Indies.

Gísli Pálsson, a professor of anthropology at the University of Iceland who has authored a book on Hans, says it’s not well known that Denmark was among “the big powers”.

“They caught or bought lots of slaves in West Africa and ran these colonies in the Virgin Islands,” he says.

Hans and his mother, Emilia Regina, lived as slaves to Herr Schimmelmann, the plantation owner and the governor of the Danish West Indies.

Hans’s father was probably a white Dane.

“[Hans] lived as a house slave somewhat protected from the rough field sites, the dissent and rebellions in the fields and somewhat exposed to the nice sides of aristocratic life,” Professor Pálsson says.

Sensing the impending collapse of the slave trade, in 1788 the Schimmelmann family moved back to Copenhagen.

Hans’s mother travelled with them, but mysteriously, Hans was left behind in St Croix.

When he joined them several years later in the vibrant and bustling city, he moved into a home one block from the royal palace, literally in the heart of the colonial regime.

“His sense of possibility of freedom is born during these encounters, I imagine,” Professor Pálsson says.

“He was reading Rousseau and engaging with the growing discourse in Copenhagen about colonies and plantations and freedom and slavery.”

This growing sense of freedom could explain why Hans enlisted in one of the major battles in Denmark’s history — the 1801 Battle of Copenhagen.

He perhaps thought if he showed his allegiance to the Danes, they might set him free.

He survived the war, and returned still a slave, but a changed man.

“After that he rebels and he’s resisting,” Professor Pálsson says.

Hans began to ignore his curfew, coming and going at all hours.

“Eventually Frau Schimmelmann mounts a legal case against Hans to establish that she was his owner and could sell him back to St Croix, for the amount he was worth,” Professor Pálsson says.

The court decided that Hans was the property of Schimmelmann.

He was now liable to be caught and brought back to the West Indies.

But Hans had other plans.

Within weeks of the verdict, the last ships set sail from Copenhagen, before the winter seas rolled in.

Hans was on board one of them.

His path, dictated by the trade routes, led to another Danish colony.

The blue man arrives

Hans arrived on the shores of Iceland around 1802, in Djúpivogur, a small village on the remote east coast.

“He lands before racism arrives from Europe,” Professor Pálsson says.

“Before that you had friction of course between people and groups, but not necessarily a hint at something in their genes, or the colour, or the character.

“It’s only with slavery and sugar and capitalism that this massive brutality and fundamental distinction between categories of people — black, Caucasian — arrives.

“Racism, in other words, is born in this context.”

Hans lived out the rest of his days in Djúpivogur, first as the store keep in the trading post, and later as a peasant.

In 1827, when he was 43, he fell on the snow-covered slopes, suffered a stroke and died.

He left behind his wife, Katrin, and two children.

There are no known images of Hans.

He lived too early for photography and was too poor to have his portrait painted.

Considered property, even now

It was only in the early 2000s that Denmark found out where Hans had escaped to.

“It’s a turning point in the sense that two narratives are finally fitted together,” Professor Pálsson says.

“The descendants of Hans Jonathan in Iceland are exploring their roots and the archives, and Danish journalists and historians are exploring what happened to the slave from the famous court case of 1802.

“And it all comes together, and the story was finally out.”

Even now, Hans is still considered property.

“I thought perhaps there’s a way to address that and to posthumously declare him a free man,” says Kirsten Pflomm, a fifth-generation descendant of Hans.

Last year, she asked Denmark’s Prime Minister Lars Løkke Rasmussen if that could happen.

The Prime Minister responded that no, it wouldn’t change anything.

But the tides seem to be turning and Denmark is slowly addressing its colonial past.

“I think about a year ago there was a statue erected here in Copenhagen of a female slave who led a revolt in the Danish West Indies and I think that is the first public acknowledgement of any sort of ties to slavery,” Ms Pflomm says.

“It’s often hard to look at your own past and acknowledge the terrible things your country was engaged in.”

A story that is still being written

About 20 years ago, Dr Stefansson had the idea to re-create Hans’ genome.

About 10 years ago, his laboratory started work.

“We knew that a bunch of people had African ancestry and we could go into the genomes and pull out the pieces … and we could patch them together into a half of an African genome,” he says.

“When you sequence, you are sequencing a chromosome going from one end to another, when you come into an African piece that is so vastly different.

“There is so much more polymorphism, so much more diversity.”

The study was able to reconstruct 38 per cent of Hans’ maternal genome in absence of any physical remains.

It also pointed to where Hans’ mother may have come from — somewhere in West Africa, potentially Benin, Nigeria or Cameroon.

But one question remains: who was Hans’ father?

Again, science may hold the answers.

Work is now underway to unearth ancient skeletal DNA that could prove the paternity.

There are still more chapters of Hans’s story to come.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-06-27/first-black-settler-in-iceland-hans-jonathan-slave-saga/11228536

Maori All Blacks v Fiji Rugby Series 2019

Pete's Kiwi Korner

by Pete Petterson (subscribe)

The Maori All Blacks rugby union side will play a two match series against Fiji in July 2019. with a home game set down for Rotorua.

New Zealand Rugby announced recently that the pride of the Maori All Blacks ‘haka’ will face the fierce Fijian ‘cibi’ (traditional Fijian war dance) when the two sides meet in a home and away two match series in July.

The Maori All Blacks have been competing against Fiji since their tour there in 1938. They are always highly competitive affairs full of culture and theatre, and then they settle down and play the game of rugby.

New Zealand Rugby Board chairwoman Dr Farah Palmer, a former Black Ferns womens international player and a Maori herself, said the two-match series was an exciting match up and a great opportunity for both Māori and Fijian rugby fans to celebrate their…

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FORMER CIA OFFICER: CHRISTCHURCH SHOOTING SMELLS LIKE A ‘FALSE FLAG’

FORMER CIA OFFICER: CHRISTCHURCH SHOOTING SMELLS LIKE A ‘FALSE FLAG’

Nwo Report

Former CIA officer says Christchurch shooting in New Zealand was a false flagFormer CIA officer Robert David Steele warns that the Christchurch mosque shooting bears the hallmarks of a classic ‘false flag’ operation.

In an interview with Tehran Times, Steele claims the shooting was orchestrated by the shadow government as part of a plan to disarm the general population and ignite World War III.

Tehrantimes.com reports:

Q. You are well known as a former spy, and you have also said many times on the public record that you managed a false flag operation for the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA). You have also written three books and two chapters on specific false flag operations – False Flag Attacks – Tool of the Deep State, 9/11 TruthSandy Hook Truth,  Orlando Atrocity, andParis 11/13. In brief, what is a false flag attack?

A. The term originated in maritime warfare, where pirates as well as countries such as…

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Deana Van Buren: Can you imagine a world without prisons?

Presented by Peter Petterson:

Deanna Van Buren designs restorative justice centers that, instead of taking the punitive approach used by a system focused on mass incarceration, treat crime as a breach of relationships and justice as a process where all stakeholders come together to repair that breach. With help and ideas from incarcerated men and women, Van Buren is creating dynamic spaces that provide safe venues for dialogue and reconciliation; employment and job training; and social services to help keep people from entering the justice system in the first place. “Imagine a world without prisons,” Van Buren says. “And join me in creating all the things that we could build instead.”

This talk was presented at an official TED conference, and was featured by our editors on the home page

The Madness of the British

Why has a previously stable and stoic nation turned into a tribal rabble?

What is is that has caused the American and British people to turn into aggressive, racist, tribal bigots over three years?

Is it the mobile phone signals frying our braincells? Or maybe it’s the water, all the Domestos and nitrates entering our bodies slowly, drip by drip despite the best efforts of our water filtration systems. Or is it watching too much TV, reading too much political claptrap and brainwashing ourselves? Something is affecting our brains.

It’s easy to look at the tweets, the TV interviews and newspaper quotes from Brexiteers to say they’re uneducated idiots, we know that, but why the sudden racist, homophobic and intolerant attitudes?

Is that linked with the general lack of education or had it been bubbling under the surface all along? It’s particularly linked to the 60 to 70 year old…

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